Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
