ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
