How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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