did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize