shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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