According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
how drunk are you?
Several
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Randomize
