On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
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He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
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Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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