Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
