i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
