drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
