remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
even my farts smell like vagina
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
