hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
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