shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
