if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
