this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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