found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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