bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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