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I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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