did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
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