it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
