found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Randomize
