Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
