Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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