I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
