In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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