i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
