Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Come on in and take your pants off
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