My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
