Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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