Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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