Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
