I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
