Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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