How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
