google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
