What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Operation Purity has been aborted
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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