ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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