Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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