I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
