Quick, to the slutcave!
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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