I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
