ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
