Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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