who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
