Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
