Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
