he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
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