I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
