Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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