dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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