end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
