I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Why did my mother make you get naked?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
