This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
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