R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize