On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
