I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
