the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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