what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
