Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
