I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
