we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I will be naked everywhere
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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