Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I don't deserve a penis
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
