Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
