So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
