I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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